I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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