do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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