i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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