she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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