He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize