I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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