She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Randomize
