dude i'm inner monologue high
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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