my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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