oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
