There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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