im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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