So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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