p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Randomize
