I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
