My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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