Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
smell my finger.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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