im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
