I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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