fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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