If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
