my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
