is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
