gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize