the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
