as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
sex in a hospital.. check
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
