Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
