I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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