Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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