This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
