would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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