So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
