he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
