Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
