We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
operation harelip BJ is a go
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize