nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
