Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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