Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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