Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize