So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
