your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
