YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
