I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My ass is underappreciated
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
