Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
there's paper in my vomit.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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