You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
