I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Never underestimate the power of titties
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
