My room smells like vodka and shame
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Randomize
