Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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