hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
