Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
