physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
