The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
