Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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