I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
