ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
you inspire me to be a worse person
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
