Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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