Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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