But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
