I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
