Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
