If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
