You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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