Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
