yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
