Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
